


Tonight, we are young.

by skyblue993



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013), The Fosters (TV 2013) RPF
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Connor may act like a douche though, Drinking, Future Fic, Jonnor - Freeform, Jude's a drama queen as usual, M/M, Set in Las Vegas, Skype break up never happened, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-07-26 06:44:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7564207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblue993/pseuds/skyblue993
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: this chapter contains sexual content..</p></blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Fuck._

I Can't hold back the amused snort escaping my lips as I step into the huge, over glittery, flashy Restaurant's hall.

I'm meeting with my best friend Jennifer and his next to be husband. They decided to throw their bachelorette and bachelor party here, So Jennifer had the brilliant idea --since I'm her best man-- of introducing me to Alex's (Her soon to be husband.) best man..

Now, as I reach for their table and I meet the six pair of eyes I can't help but wonder..What were the odds?

A part of me --the I'm still hopelessly in love with my first boyfriend's part – should have known, From the moment Jennifer told me that the said best man was coming from LA... Fuck, I should have at least thought about it.. But I guess I can't blame the most rational part of my brain for forcing me to move one.. it's been ten years, Jesus.. even I feel pathetic about this.

 "Hi!" Jennifer stands up and she pulls me into a warm hug. "You made it!" I can feel her smile against my shoulder and somehow it manages to calm the erratic beats of my heart.. 

"Yeah.." I give a small laugh as soon as she pulls away from our embrace, gesturing me to sit down. "There was an hell of an accident on my way here... Sorry for being late."

"No problem at all." Alex smiles. "We were starting to worry, you know.. We can't have one best man lost in the desert now, can we?"

 My lips tug up in a polite smile, wondering as usual if Alex's attempts of being hilarious will ever cease.. because he isn't.. he thinks he's funny but he's really not.

Anyway, I suddenly hear someone clearing his throat.

"Oh." Alex laughs as he dramatically slaps his hand over his forehead. "Gosh, I'm so rude! "

I feel my heart losing beats as the boy stands up from his chair. My eyes refuse to meet his.. I just can't seem to face the irony of this moment, it all feels surreal.

"Jude Adams Foster meets Connor Stevens."

Jennifer smiles as the boy named Connor Stevens, whom I know better than my own underwear, reaches for my hand. It's like time's going by at a slower pace, or maybe it's just me being On the verge of a stroke. 

I finally meet his eyes and when our eyes meet, his deep frown is suddenly turning into a polite smile.

Oh, well, I'm officially going to pass out.. He's obviously looks more mature but despite has been years since the last time we've seen each other, His features, his smile, his eyes.. they all make Connor Stevens the thirteen years old boy I fell in love with and never stopped loving since the day I met him.

"Hello." His voice sounds so Mature but also so Connor like. I remember the sound of his voice, so Sweet, young and gentle and Even though after ten years without talking to each other and he's now a complete stranger to me, his voice somehow makes me feel like time has never passed. Then, as the corner of my mouth inconsciously tug up into a half smile, he kills all the fluttering butterflies into my stomach when he says. "Nice to meet you."

Ouch..

Wait what? Seriously? I almost give a bitter laugh but somehow I hold it back. I'm completely speechless.. what a douche.

Okay, you can do it Jude.

Breathe... Okay, good boy.. Now show him that handsome smile. Perfect. Shake his hand and don't screw this up.

"Hi." My voice trembles as I force the words out of my throat. He looks unaffected as he sits down at safe distance from me, obviously, right next to Alex.

As I sit down, I feel Jennifer's quizzical look  piercing right through me. I'm glad that I'm able to crack a weak smile in return as we order appetizers, trying to not cry.. 

I have no rights to feel upset over this, I'm well aware of this fact.. we said goodbye ten years ago and we're totally different persons now. I don't even have any rights to be mad at him, either. He didn't do anything and If I have to be completely honest with myself, sometimes I have forced myself to forget too. I tried, when the pain and memories became unbearable, to move on.. but I know, deep down, that nothing would ever make me forget about him.

I thought that the bond between us was something like once in a lifetime.. but apparently-- if he's been able to erase everything we've gone through.. _the fights, the kisses, I love you's, Warpaint--_ I was wrong.

He said I was his first love and people say that you never forget your first love so How could he forget about me? This means he lied? This mean people lie? That's only a bullshit to feed heartbroken people with? And Why this thing is so tasteless?!

"Jude?" Jennifer's soft voice brings me back on Earth. I immediately raise my startled eyes and they are all looking at me.

"Yes?" She winces at the broken edge filling my voice and She reaches for my hand with a close lipped smile on her face.

"Are you on _Planet Jude_ , again?"

Planet Jude.. That makes me smile, thank God, but then unfortunately I feel my shoulders tensing up when I hear his voice.

" _Planet Jude_?" He sounds amused and I'm kind of tempted to look at him. 

Before I have the opportunity to glare ar Jennifer, she's already opened her mouth, stating proudly.

"Jude's on _Planet_ _Jude_ when he thinks about someone he likes."

My face turns completely red as The people sitting at this fucking table start giggling.

"T-That's not true!"

 "Well." He says with something that sounds like a hopeful edge filling his voice. "That sounds interesting.. Whoever he is, is a lucky boy."

As soon as the worlds fly out of Connor's mouth, my eyes widen as my hands start trembling being hit by the realization that, unless Jennifer has already informed him about my sexuality, Connor lied. 

How the hell does he know if he's apparently forgotten about me? About us?

The dinner goes on smoothly.. I mean, what troubles should I expect since it's a quite, intimate dinner with my best friend, her fiancè and someone I used to know?

I suddenly feel like I could use a drink, or two..  
“Well.. I think I'm gonna hit the bar.”

Jennifer throws me a look that I can only describe as motherly as she stands up as well, reaching for me before I can have the chance to escape from that hell of a restaurant.

“Jude.. Please, be careful.”

She totally ignores the roll of my eyes as she adds with concerned voice. “We're not in San Diego. Vegas is dangerous.”  
“I'm a big boy.. but thank you, mommy.”  
She smiles, wrapping her arms around my shoulders before pulling me into a bone crushing hug.  
“Thank you for being here.”  
  
“Hey.. what kind of best man would I be if I wasn't here to celebrate your last night of freedom?”

“I'll see you tomorrow, then.” She sighs contendly as she pulls away from our embrace. “Have fun and please, be careful.”

“I Will mommy.” 

This time she's the one rolling her eyes. “Will you ever stop calling me that?”

“Probably not."

###

 

I'm sipping my.. Third or fourth--, I can't really remember now-- Mojito when I register the presence of someone sitting on the empty stool next to mine.

"It's your third." I roll my eyes as I take a loud slurp through the straw of my cocktail.

"Thank you for keeping count of my drinks." he doesn't reply, he just keeps staring at me with lips slightly parted and an unreadable expression flashing across his features.

I'm sorry if you weren't expecting some extra bitterly tone, big man.

"Woah, sorry dude. I was trying to look out for You..”

I can't hold back the distressful noise escaping my lips as I finally deem him of my attention.

"Dude?! " What are you twelve? I feel my stomach twitching as my face gets completely flushed, sadly the alcohol running through my whole body makes me spill everything I kept pushing back throughout the night.

His eyebrows furrow in confusion as he shifts uncomfortably on his stool.

"Listen, ..I Really think we sh-"

"I'm Jude Adams Foster." There. Now what would you say, big boy? Come on.. spill, I'm dying to witness your reaction. The sight doesn't disappoint me, if I have to be honest.. He's freezed on his spot, his eyes lowering down as he breathes sharphly through his nose. 

Well, that's an answer.

"I knew it!"

"Jude... I--"

"--Why would you do that?! Why would you pretend that you didn't know me?!" 

Shit.

My eyes are stinging, filled with unleashed tears as my whole body starts trembling.. This is not good.

My eyes grow huge as he tries to reach for my arm but my hand slaps his touch away.

"Tell me why, Connor! Just makes me understand why would you do act like you didn't know me. Do you hate me that much that you felt the need to erase me completely from your life and memories?”  
“No.” He breathes out with pain clearly vivid in his voice. “It's not like that, Jude.. I promise.”

His startled, huge eyes lock with mine as I give a loud exhale of breath before admitting.

"Even after ten years. Even when I was trying really hard to move on with my life after you left, I had few flings but even when I was with someone I liked I knew deep down that I wasn't, not even remotely, over you."

“I.. I'm sorry, Jude.. I was an asshole.”  
“We have a lot of good memories together.. did you forget?”  
“No.. of course not.” He breathes out as he finally looks up, his hazel eyes meeting mine. “I will never forget.”

Frustration flares up from the pit of my stomach. “ Then why?”  
“I don't know!” He raises his voice as he looks at me with pleading eyes. You're pleading me what exactly, Connor? What do you want from me?

“ I-- I shouldn't have, I'm so sorry Jude.. I-I panicked. ” He seems distraughted as he keeps stuttering, words after words. "You panicked?! Why the hell would you panick over me?"

“ I had this sickening feeling in my stomach and the first thing I thought was: _Fuck, He can't be him_.. but then I saw you and I freaked out. It's my friend's big day and I'm feeling the pressure of making it nothing but memorable for him, I'm his best man and I can't afford to screw things up.. so the moment I saw you, I felt my brain blacking out completely and yes, I acted like a douche towards you and I'm sorry, but you have to believe me, Jude.. even if we didn't exactly break up on good terms, you have to know that I.. I could never forget. Never.”

He exhales loudly as he nervously scratched the back of his neck.

I feel my mouth falling open as I let out a loud gasp. "That's not true, Connor! We talked and texted..."

"Until we both stopped doing that..." He cut me off as a sad smile creeped over his lips.

"I didn't want to hold you back..you had your life there and I wanted to give you space.. that doesn't mean that I didn't love you anymore! "

"I didn't want to hold you back, either.." His eyes makes my heart clench like a fist, inside of my rib cage, They looks so sincere..

My heart starts pounding fast inside of my chest as my body moves on its own accord. Before realizing it I'm wrapping my arms around his shoulders.. Pulling him into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry too, Connor." 

Soon the collar of his shirt is completely soaked with tears as I cling onto him. I've never forgotten how warm and safe Connor's body can make me feel but now.. Feeling it against mine once again feels amazing. I missed it so much that it hurt, now that I'm holding him into my arms, the pain settling in my chest hits me more than ever.

My eyes flutter close as I feel my body relaxing into our embrace, inhaling his cologne and taking in the warmth and features of his body.

I'm so lost into this moment that I barely register his arms, lacing around my waist, or his hair softly brushing against my neck.. I'm completely stuck on Jude's Planet right now all over again and I realize that I don't want to come back into our reality.

Sadly when he pulls away, I feel the lack of his warmth but It's compensated by the brighteness of his smile as I ask him with teasing voice. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“I thought you'd never ask.”

As Connor takes a sip of his Pina Colada and I'm finishing my third mojito, we starts reminiscing the good old days.

I don't even know why I'm surprised by this fact, but it seems like time has never gone by; His smile, his laugh and His --not so subtle--way of flirting with me makes me think that maybe.. if we do this correctly and we take things slow.. maybe we can work things out this time.

 

_Two hours later..._

 

My head's spinning. No wait, this whole room is spinning.. Maybe because I'm running? Why Connor's running and Where is he taking me?  
“Con?” My throat feels sore as I speak while Connor doesn't stop on his tracks and he keeps dragging me God Knows where. He turns around then and he doesn't reply, he just gives me an excited look from over his shoulder.

As soon as we get inside of the room, then I get it..

“Ohh..”  
“Yup.” Connor laughs. He's so bright and happy and fucking drunk.. but wait, so am I infact I start laughing too.. I don't know why. Wait.. maybe yes, there are few reasons behind my histerical giggles.. I can list few of them.

Like Me and Connor standing in a small, flashy room with pink walls and murble pavements. We're standing across from each other so I can't help but losing myself into the sight before me.

Connor Stevens, drunk as fuck as he slides a ring around my finger.

Where did that ring come out from, by the way? That's one of the questions I will probably never get an answer to.

“J-Jude..” He swallows thickly as he looks into my – probably red and glossy-- eyes.

“I.. believe in fate.. and I'm probably too drunk right now to pronounce the vows that you deserve..”  
A Loud giggle escapes my lips as he goes on with his speech, he's the cutest.. even when drunk as hell.

He smiles too as he tightens the grip on my hand causing a thousands of butterflies to flutter into my stomach.

“But I think.. We're kind of meant to be together because what were the chances of finding each other here and get married by Elvis? ”

The wave of laughter erupts out of my lips as the boy accurately dressed as Elvis, who's performing our ceremony, looks at us with dreamy eyes.

“You want to say something, dear?”

“Yes.. “ I wish I had someone to keep me steady in this moment but as long as Connor holds my hand I think I'm fine.

“So.. What can I say? What happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas but to be honest I don't want to.. I want you here, Connor and I want to take you home.. I just want you.”  
Wow.. I would win a nobel prize for most romantic vows ever. It does the trick though, because surprisingly Connor starts crying..

Oh my little bundle of love.

“That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.” He cries as his hand starts trembling when I slid the ring round his finger.

I don't really pay attention to what Elvis is Saying because I'm unable to dislodge my gaze from Connor's eyes, who seems to be in a similar situation. Our eyes are locked, nothing can pull us apart from each other.

“You may now kiss.”

Connor shows his perfect smile as he leans over me and as his lips gets closer witch each passing seconds I feel like fireworks are bursting inside of my heart.. oh God, finally.

My eyes fall close as he pulls me against his chest.

Fuck, thank God he's keeping me steady because I might pass out in this exact moment.

His lips press against mine in a close lipped kiss and I get to taste them with my tongue.

So good. It tastes like coconut.

He smiles against my lips as he runs his hands over my hair and ears.. this feels so intimate, so good.

He opens his eyes and I meet them with mine.

“Hello Husband.”  
My lips tug up until there's a blinding smile on my face.

“Hello to you too.. husband.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains sexual content..

 

I don't think I have time to adjust to what's happening inside of my head since The moment we step into the huge elevator, I found myself pressed against the wall with Connor's body and lips completely pressed against mine.

I moan softly into his mouth as my hand laces behind his neck pulling him close, if that's even possible since our bodies are basically pressed against each other.

We're so physically close, indeed, that I can clearly feel how bad this closeness is affecting him..

"Connor." 

He grunts against my neck as he sucks love bites on its descendant and that makes me realize that's so lost into this steam, this moment.. that he has also lost consciousness about where we are.

He's clearly unaware that we're in a elevator and the chances of being recorded by video surveillance are very likely But that doesn't stop him apparently since he's dropping on his knees. The sight is so astonishly hot that makes me whimper.

"Fuck, you're so hard." He moans breathlessly making me realize that He really wants to go all the way, here in this elevator, because he wastes no time in unbuckling my belt.

The smallest touch of his hand brushing against my crotch makes me curse under my breath. "Jesus.." I feel my erection swelling inside of my briefs and precome seeping out of my dick.. 

he zips my pants down and in the moment he's about to pull it down, the doors slide open with a mechanic sound, like a "Ding" or something. 

Connor laughs, despite the gravity of the situation such as people standing outside the doors with mouth wide open staring agape at the scene before their eyes.

Connor gets up eventually, after he's sobered up and as he decides to ignore the looks of judgement on those people's faces, he holds my hand.

He drags me outside of the elevator and he giggles as we walk past the crowd of people he says, to no one in particular, "Jeez, There's a reason it's called Sin city, people.."

We giggle throughout the whole way to his room and as soon as the door is finally close behind us, he presses once again my body against it.

"My husband is so fucking sexy." He breathes against my ear as his hand reaches for my jeans, pulling it down along along with my underwear.. 

"Fuck Connor, yes.. Oh my God."

The motion of his hand, so savagely fast around my shaft makes me moan loudly and breathlessly against his lips.

I feel a burning sensation settling in my lungs.. Like the air has just left my system making me feel like I'm gonna die in a minute. It's both fucking arousing and terryfing at the same time, the insanity of all this.

He stops sucking my lip so that I can finally breathe and I my eyes flutter close as replaces his hand with his mouth.. Oh.. Damn... God, the way he sucks and slurps around it It's sinful and almost indecent, and I never want it to stop.

My hips buck and he sucks me deeper.

He sucks faster and hungrily, like he can't get enough of the flavour of my precome settling on his tongue and my dick sliding in and out of his mouth. He closes his eyes as he hollows his cheeks, his breaths come through loud and wrecked moans as without even realizing it, I'm coming with a cry of his name, inside of his mouth and down his throat and he sucks.. Slowly and more tenderly.. Around my cock, cleaning it all..

"Con.." He opens my eyes and my breath catches at what's I can see in his gaze.. Burning, blazing lust. It makes me take hold of his shirt, pulling him on his feet before crashing our lips together.

We walk backwards as our lips never stop  meeting, our tongues never stop dueling and our hearts never stop beating.

His back soon hits the mattress and I can't get enough of his moans and delicious sounds dripping hotly off his mouth as my hands reach for his pants, soon discarged on the floor as he gets rid of his own shirt and fuck, the moment my eyes meet the hard plain of his chest, I swear..  It should be illegal.. This body is legitfully the most beautiful sight my eyes has ever met.

"My eyes are up there." He mocks me with a teasing edge filling his voice and yeah, I admit that dislodging my gaze off this sight it's really difficult task to succeed at the moment and I feel like I can't even count on my brain since it has officially gone out of committion , but I do my best.. I mean, at least I try to look up, infact My gaze slowly follows an invisible trail from his toned belly to his hard chest and.. Perked nipples.. His plump lips, perfect nose and finally... Hey, there you are.. _I made it._

"Hey." 

I smile back.

"Hi."

He looks at me with such fond eyes that, I have to admit, it makes me feel a bit unease.. So damn loving and full with _something_ that, considering my drunken state, I can't quite catch..

He threads his fingers through my hair before pulling me down, on top of him.

Our lips meet once again and he does this thing with his mouth where he sucks to my upper lip and then it drags it between his teeth, it drives me to a whole new lever of wildness and suddenly my whole body is burning like fire.

The feel to touch skin, to drive him wild like I did when he touched me...

"Oh fuck." He moans against my mouth the moment my hand touches his dick, so hard and wet at the tip.. He bucks his hips into my hand as his whole body  writhes underneath me.. 

It's.. beyond words, the sight of Connor Stevens moaning and panting as he's close.. I can feel he's close and soon his eyes snap open, letting out a sound of distress out of his throat.

His hand reaches for my hand. 

"Stop.. God, baby, just stop."

 I can feel the pout forming on my face as I whine.

"But.. I liked it."

He manages to let out a broken laugh as he catches his breath, before inverting out positions.  He rolls us over and soon he's the one on top of me.

"I know you liked it.." His eyes shifts from my eyes to my wet dick, before saying. "I'm witnessing it with my own eyes."

I can't hold back the smirk forming on my lips as he reaches for his nightstand, he opens the drawer and he pulls out a bottle of lube and condoms.

Oh well, Las Vegas is really the _City of Sin_ apparently... fully equipped.

My chain of thoughts are _rudely_ interrupted by his fingers sliding in.

"Oh Jesus.. Fuck, hurts."

"I know, baby, I know.." He rushes to say with soft soothing voice as he lays soft kisses on my thigh.. somehow it soothes the pain spreading through my whole body in addiction to the hunger flaring up through my veins, exploding and taking me on the edge wilder than I've ever been.

My eyes flutter close as I try to work on my breath.. _Inhale and Exhale_ , slowly and this pain will go away.. It will, it has to.. 

"Yes.. Oh.. Connor, right there."

Well.. That was fast. Not that I'm complaining, obviously..

He keeps sliding his fingers in and out before roughly pulling it out for good. The void feels like death.. Definitely unpleasant, I can't refrain the childlish whines out of my lips as he takes his slow time into wearing the condom.

Then, finally, he slides my leg open before finally _stepping through the threshold_ , I guess?

My own idiocy makes me laugh. I start giggling.

“Why are you laughing?”

“I don't know..”

He doesn't seem offended by my hysterical giggling since he follows along.. he laughs as he pushes inside and it's nice.. it makes me feel less weird.. because we're being weird together right? Laughing and giggling as He fucks me with slowly, meticulous thrusts..

My wave of laughter though has short life.

He starts going faster and I'm not complaining, really.. it's.. it's amazing. He's amazing.

He grunts against my neck, the sounds slipping out of his lips sound like music to my ears as he fucks me faster and harder.

“Fuck.. so tight.”  
My hands reach for his ass, urging him to not stop.. to push deeper and faster.. I need him, so much.. I want him to come inside..

“I want you inside of me.”  
“I am.” He replies breathlessy against my neck ,licking some sweat off my skin.

“Connor..” It comes out more like a moan than a frustrated sigh. “I want _you_ inside of me.

I come few minutes later with a tight grip of his hand around my dick, which is completely soaked with come by the time he starts moaning breathlessly the word “My husband” when he comes inside of me. (Even though he's still wearing the condom.)

His body lands next to mine on the mattress and we take some minutes of complete silence to catch our breaths..

It's.. fulfilling, this sensation settling in my chest as he reaches for me, pulling me into my arms and laying a soft kiss on my lips before whispering the word “ Husband.” once again into my ear..

The sound of this word makes me feel a toe curling sensation spreading through my whole body and It makes me look at him, still hungry for his eyes.. his sexy, sweet eyes that make me feel so safe in this world.

I close my eyes.. drifting off to sleep... next to my husband.

 ####

 

 Fuck.. What the hell.

The light beaming through the window is so fucking disturbing to my eyes that I can't even open it.. 

I force my eyes to just open and I know I'll regret this idea every single day of my life because it's like being struck by lightning, My head is exploding with the force of it.

I slowly, carefully, open my eyes.. Gently this time and as a dark foreboding feeling screams at me not to, I turn around.

"Oh dear..." My mouth falls open as I take in the sight before my eyes, _And what a wonderful sight,_ Just shut up dick, it's your fault if we're in this situation in the first place..

And I suddenly realize that I must be dreaming because I there's no way I would talk to my dick in real life.. _Or, maybe_.. My brain suggests me in the haze of the moment.. _You're so drunk that you ended up talking to your dick._

Okay, just shut up, both of you.

Apparently my inner, hopefully, monologue has done some noise because I watch him waking up and he's so fucking gorgeous, Yeah, he's amazingly attractive as he opens his eyes.. Slowly but then snapping it open like I'm some kind of monster.

He must remember something because his eyes shifts from my face to his hand and.. Yeah.. _Good morning to you, husband.._

"Jude." 

Panic is filling his sleepy voice as he gulps.. Afraid to ask, afraid To know the answer.

"Yes." 

The panic on his face turns into shock when the bomb gets dropped.

"We're married."

 


	3. chapter 3.

He doesn't seem aware of what I Just told him because not a single word escapes his lips but he just looks at me with those huge, startled eyes maybe waiting for me to burst out in laughter and say something like : _"You should see the look on your face! Oh my God Connor! Priceless!"_ or along these lines.

He swallows down the knot I assume has formed into his throat and I know him enough to know, even after all these years, that Connor is about to freak out.

"W-What do you want to do?" I ask him and I guess my voice sounds scared to him so when he finally looks up his gaze looks softer when he realizes that's all real. That this is happening.

He gives a soft laugh that sounds very fake to me before saying, "What can we do, Jude? How did this happen in the first place?"

the answer seems obvious to me so I just tell him what I think happened.

"We got drunk, I guess, and maybe we found ourself high off the moment and--"

"What moment? I don't remember us having a moment.”

His voice is sharp as knife as he wraps the blanket around his frame, like to shelter himself from the reality of facts.

"I just remember you drinking your fourth mojito and--”

“It was my third! Besides--” His eyes looks blanky into mine as he shrugs. “Are you seriously blaming me for getting you drunk and marry me?"

"You talk like that's a _real_ thing."

"I know you're being an asshole just because you're scared but think rationally please." His eyebrows furrow as a deep frown flashes across his features. "This is real and-- and if you want to call off this wedding.."

"I don't know what I want, Jude. I Just wish.. things went in a different way. This is not how I pictured my wedding to be like, to be honest.”  
And I know he's not only referring to the wedding venue. He's talking about me. He's regretting it because he got married to me.  
As soon as the realization hit me, I'm on my feet looking for my clothes. He stares at me, not saying anything to stop me or anything related to this _'problem'_ for that matter.

I give him a quick look from over my shoulder as I pull on my jeans and he's still looking blankly at some point on the wall then after what feels like forever he finally snaps back into reality.

“Jude?”

“What?”

“ _I want to call off this wedding.”_

  
And even though his words hurt just like I got shot right in the my chest, there's nothing much I can say to him beside a feeble, not that convincing, 'okay.'

He nods as he gives a loud sigh. I don't know if it's from relief or pain, but it sounds like he's gotten a weight off his chest.

“Good bye Connor.” I tell him before closing the door of his room behind my back.

 

I'm a wreck thoughout the whole night. Jennifer glares at me because I'm her best friend and I'm supposed to crash this party with her, _Last night as unmarried woman_ and all that stuff but I can't shake off Connor's words out of my mind, it's impossible, especially when he's just right there, at the other end of this fucking table and he looks at me with those sad eyes like he's sorry for hurting me and I can't quite understand the reason beneath that hurt because we both agreed.

He's right. He deserves his dream wedding and he doesn't want it to be with me. It's legit, if you think about it, we haven't seen each other in what? Ten years? And then we got drunk and yes, we did something we shouldn't have, especially since we should have taken it slow and it would have been fine, I think, we could have been _happy and_ we could have rekindled something we lost years and years ago.

It could have been our chance to do this right but in the end we screwed up, big time, we hit the gas and even though last night has been the best night of my life, it has been also the second biggest mistake of my life.

_The first one was pushing Connor away ten years ago._

 

Jennifer grabs me by my arm and she literally drags me on the dancefloor.

I see the happy smile on her face as she dances and when she beckons me to slow dance with her when “Time after time” plays on the background, She mumbles against my ear how happy she is to marry her best friend in the whole world and I fight back the tears threatening to spill down my eyes.

I hold her tighter against my chest because she deserves this joy and I force myself to smile throughout the whole dance because she doesn't deserve to see me this miserable, infact I haven't even mentioned to her yet that I got married before she did.

This is her moment to shine and I'm positive that someday I'll feel this joy too, _once again_ , and for the _right reasons this time._

 

My mouth falls open in desbelief as I head towards my car and I find Connor resting with his back against it.

“You look pretty comfy.”

He rolls his eyes but he doesn't move from that spot.

“I've been thinking about it.” And I know what that _It_ stands for and I can't hold back the tired sigh escaping my lips.

“Connor, Let's just put this in the past and let's move on with our lives.”

“I agree.” He says and then he moves to help me put the suitcase into hood of my car.

“Thanks.”

I look at him with narrowing eyes as I fold my arms around my chest, this time I'm the one needing protection from this, _from him_..

“As I said I've been thinking about it and you were right.”

My mouth falls open in shock at those words. Was I right? About what?

“This.. is real. It has never been truer and It freaks me out.”

“We agreed that the right thing to do is to call off the wedding.”

  
“No.” He says taking one steps towards me. “That was only on me, you just agreed because you thought that's what I wanted.”

I hear myself giving a short intake of breath as he's closer than before, his proximity makes my head spin and my breath coming in short puffs of air.

“T-Then what do you want?”

He looks away for a brief moment before his hand reaches for my own, gently touching the wedding ring I never brought myself to take off.

“I-I freaked out because I'vebeen dreaming of marrying you for the longest time and I Had this fantasy in my mind with you and me, married and happy and--”

“Connor--”

  
“--It felt good because we were finally together for the rest of our lives but then the weight of reality crashed over me. _You and I falling apart._ ”

“Con..” I swallow down the lump forming in my throat as I breath out. “If that's what you want we can do this.”

  
“What if everything falls apart once again, Jude? What if we hurt each other once again? I-I want to, I really do, I've been dreaming for this moment since I was thirteen for fuck sake, can you Imagine what have you done to me? How bad I've got you underneath my skin? And then what if we fail again, this time there's no going back from this and It freaks me out because I want this! I want you! You have no idea how conflicted I am right now because--”  
His rambling gets cut off by my lips crashing agains his own, he gives a soft moan against my mouth before lacing his hand behind my neck.

He pulls me close and he takes advantage of the gasp I let out against his mouth to slide his tongue inside.

This kiss is messy and desperate and holds every suppressed feelings we've been shoved aside since we were thirteen years old.

“I want this.” he breathes against my lips as soon as we pull away to catch our breath. “I want you. I'm coming to San Diego with you.” And only when the words slip off his lips I notice the black suitcase few feets away from us. A soft gasp leave my lips as he strokes his fingers through my hair.

“B-But how--”

“I'm going to stay with dad for a while, until we find a house and then we'll work on this.”

He must have noticed the deep frown flashing across my features so with hesitant voice he adds. “I-If still you want to.”  
And I realize that I need to shut that bullshit in this exact moment so I connect our lips once again, smiling against his lips.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this fic, Thank you for reading :)


End file.
